Oh. My. Word. My son has dove in headfirst into the terrible twos. I am somewhat beside myself. The past two nights he has put me in tears. I know I'm hormonal because I'm pregnant, but he's really got me at my wit's end lately.
I don't want y'all to think he is a horrible demon-child. He's not. He's just two, and I'm tired and 9 months pregnant (in fact, I don't even remember sleeping last night. I know I must have, but it seems like I looked at the clock a thousand times and just waited for the sun to come up). I'm starting to freak out a little about what will happen when Claire gets here. How will I handle things then?
Anyway, I'm just a little frustrated. It seems like it centers around church. I absolutely cannot keep the child in worship service. He will not be quiet ("Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!") and he will not sit still ("Get down!"). I try to make staying in the auditorium fun for him...we bring books, colors, cars and snacks...but he just won't sit still and be quiet. So we take him out. We do not take him to the nursery so he can play with toys; we make him sit on our laps and be still. This makes him pretty mad, but we feel like he needs to learn that you can't leave worship service and have fun--it's not supposed to be a good thing to be taken out. But, this has gone on for a while, and he still hasn't gotten the picture. So, last night I was upset because I had to take him out, yet AGAIN, and it's just so horribly embarrassing. Everyone knows us; everyone knows Will. It's not like we can just sneak out and fade into the background.
Then, there was tonight. We started VBS tonight and for some reason, which I have never agreed with and still don't understand, we include two year olds in VBS. (I have always thought it should just begin when kids start school, but whatever.) Anyway, since Scott is one of the main VBS organizers and I was a helper, we had to be there at 5:30 (it started at 6:30). So, we ate dinner and went over there. Well, Will just wasn't cool with the fact that Daddy was there in plain sight but could not hold him every second. We tried to sit down in our designated little pew with his teachers, and I even held him and told the teacher I was supposed to be helping that I didn't think I could leave Will because he was on the verge of a melt-down. Even with me holding him, he still couldn't handle it. I was so embarrassed that I just decided to take him home. I felt really bad because when we left, he was the only one in his class, but Scott told me later that five others ended up coming. I asked if they were as horrible as Will and he said no, but they also didn't have their dads there standing up in front of everyone and ignoring them (which Scott really wasn't doing, but that's probably how it felt to Will). Anyway, I was just really upset because Will doesn't usually act like this. It's a new development and I'm having a really hard time dealing with him.
Okay, well I guess I've spent enough time venting about my mothering problems...but I know (well, I hope) that some of you out there have had similar experiences. And I guess I'm just hoping that you understand what I'm dealing with. It's just hard for me because I see so many kids at church that are so very good and almost never have to be removed, and with mine, it's an every-time thing. And we're the youth minister's family!
As for other news, my grandma will be having surgery next Monday. The tumor is benign, but still needs to be removed, of course, because it is causing problems. Thank you so much for all your continued prayers...my family and I appreciate it so much.
10 comments:
Like I have told you in private, after VBS is over I think Scott needs to have a reprieve from having a part in the service for the next three months, or so, to help you handle Will and get used to juggling the two. If you two have trouble suggesting it to the appropriate chain of command, you know I don't ;0-)
Hey Lauren,
Just wanted to let you know that I know where you're coming from. I spent a lot of time in tears in the last weeks before Max was born. CERTAIN that I wasn't going to be able to handle two. It hasn't been easy--there have been a FEW times when we've all three, Ruby, Max and I been in tears and calling Daddy to PLEASE COME HOME EARLY TONIGHT!! But, it is getting so much better. He's going to love his little sister and will be a great little helper. He'll still be two, but God gives us special grace I think for these transition times. You'll make it and we'll be praying for you!
Love, Bethany Nelson
Lauren, you are doing a great job. Timing is rough with Will just turning 2 and you about to have another one, but you'll make it. Don't feel embarrassed at church. I know that minister kids always seem to have more pressure to be good but they are just kids also. He'll learn. Just keep trucking and remember that you are a great mom!
At the risk of sounding repetitive just hang in there! I was terrified at the prospect of 2 kids. And the 2s aren't a piece of cake. And I definitely have my days where I think I'm going to lose my mind. I'm sure that Will is just picking up on the fact that things are about to change and his behavior is reflecting that some. Just keep loving on him, letting him know he's soooo important and special and loved. I've no doubt that you are going to do a great job with 2!!!
Thanks for all the encouragement, you super-duper moms out there! I really appreciate your sweet words. I love y'all!
No advice for the two's, really ... I'll just echo what everyone else has said already. :)
Glad your Grandmother's tumor is benign. Hope her surgery goes okay.
Lauren, you don't know me...I'm Lynsey's mom. But this story just grabbed me right where I (used to) live! Lynsey was such an awful baby in church that the people there told us our baby was an atheist!!!! She could never be quiet, and she never saw the point of worship, since it required being still and quiet for YEARS at a time. Her AMEN at the end was the loudest of anyone's!!! One time after a very moving sermon about communion, she whispered (loudly) as the plates went by, "FEEDING TIME!" People probably aren't thinking as awful things about your parenting skills as you think they are; they understand and they admire you for sticking the course with your precious terrible two. I can tell just from reading your blog that you are a good mother. And this too shall pass. Lynsey hardly ever has to be taken out of church now. Love from an "older woman" --- Jill Moudy
My mother is funny. But it's HARD for some people! ;) haha
I have at least learned to keep myself quiet when I must remove myself from the service. ;) Keep up the good work... sometimes this is all we can hope for/work towards for the future (quieter exits, that is.) :) haha
I'm pretty sure my own children are going to repay me someday...
Lauren
When Kade hit two, his behavior changed almost immediately. I have not experienced what you have with worship because I do send him to the attended nursery because he seemed to do much better in Bible Class when he just started out in that same area where the attended nursery is.
One thing that we discovered with Kade is that he was experiencing two year molars coming in and once we got past the first two weeks of that, he returned to his normal, happy self. And for Kade, anywhere with people made it worse. So, it could be something like that.
It's been quite an adjustment adding our newest member Maycie to our family with them so close in age, but it's gone well. Just know, it will get better.
Also, something that's been helpful for me is the book MotherStyles by Jan Penley.
Lauren,
Remember that the Lord told us to "train up a child in the way he/she should go and he/she will not depart from it when he is OLD". You are doing a wonderful job and don't be embarrassed or worry what others think. You are setting the pattern for Will to follow and it will come with time. Just remember that we who have children have all gone thru these stages and most of us and our children lived thru it. HA! HA! Love ya, La Don
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